Cactus Saves The Day

Tonight after work I was walking to my car in the school parking lot and there was a big "BOOM!" We turned around and saw that an older model BMW had slammed into a street pole head on. It was nasty. I, being the loyal Red Cross girl, went over with my first aid kit and my coworker followed in suit.

The lady was scratched and I put some band-aids on her, but she looked ok. The interesting thing is that she was high, really high. Her eyes were huge and she rambled on and on, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing. She called her husband (who smelled terribly of pot when he arrived). He came to make sure she was ok then LEFT. The police had arrived so I guess he decided not to get into trouble as well. Smart man.

The lady ran a red light (witnesses said) but get this...she blamed her shoe. She said her shoe got in the way of the brake and then she got confused and accelerated. Interesting theory.

Today's life lesson: Do not wear high heeled shoes while driving. Do not get high before driving (especially when going to pick up your kid at daycare).

Am I Unlucky?

Here is my reciept from the Wonder Hostess store last week. Notice the total: $6.66. According to Wikipedia, 666 is the "number of the beast" (devil). Nice. Take note: stay away from me.

The Game is Over. I Lost.

I'll admit it. I didn't renew my license plates when I got the notice. I didn't renew them when I got the second notice, either. It became a game. I was careful when I saw a cop near me. I even turned off if I had one behind me. I could have paid the registration anytime, I just didn't want to.

The game ended on the way to work last Friday. I was exiting the highway and I saw the infamous red and blue lights of the Arizona Highway Patrol. Busted. The officer said the fine should be $100 or so. The DMV charged me a $20 late fee. My little game cost $120. Blah. I hate losing.

Happy Bunny

I suppose this would be inappropriate to post in my classroom, eh? I already have the one that says, "Uck, it smells like teachers in here!" The kids enjoy that one.

Help. I have a wart on my finger. Someone help me. What do I do? Does that Compound W stuff work? Pleeeeeeease help.

-Embarrassed Cactus

The Patient

Does he look like he's worth $1057.00? Heck yeah! His surgery went fine and he is resting well. He is enjoying lots of Frosty Paws (doggie ice cream).

Voodoo Doll

It's the end of another hard week. I am harboring ill feelings towards two people. One is a chick at work, who I'll refer to as "B", and my teacher, who I'll refer to as "M." Both needed a few pins in their voodoo dolls. Without one, I decided to turn to the internet. A person can find ANYTHING on the internet.

I found a nifty site where you can enter a person's name and decide which method of turtore you prefer the voodoo doll to endure. Would you like to iron the doll? Run over it with a car? Stick thumbtacks into it? You decide. All I can say is that I enjoyed myself, I feel better, and no one got hurt. Yet.

Online Voodoo Doll: http://www.guzer.com/animations/voodoo.php

Foil in Microwave - No sparks?

Today at work I had a container of leftover spaghetti from Fazoli's for lunch. I removed the plastic top and set the microwave for two minutes. I engaged in some teacher chit chat while waiting. Beep. Lunchtime. I went to pick up the container out of the microwave and yelped in pain. Yes, I failed to notice that the bottom part wasn't plastic but foil. My coworker was standing nearby and laughed at me. However, I learned something today. Just because it looks like foil doesn't mean that it is. There were no sparks. She told me that many companies are now making these "foil" appearing containers out of other materials. Is she crazy or has someone else heard of this?? My Fazoli's leftovers were delicious and I didn't ruin the staff microwave! :)

First Week of School

I survived the first week back to school. This week I'm going to bake brownies and slip Ritalin into the batch. Just kidding.