Change

In the past two weeks there have been changes in the life of Cactus. I am free from glasses (conquered my fear of the surgery more importantly), cut and colored my hair and decided to pursue a Master's degree.

Here I sit, nearly 3 A.M. and I can't sleep. Why? I heard a song on the radio on the way home from Happy Hour tonight. I mean seriously, its a country song by Rascal Flatts. I hate country. But there's something about the lyrics that gets my mind all stirring. I've listened to it over ten times. If you know me well, you know why.

Title: I'm Movin' On

Artist: Rascal Flatts

.

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons

Finally content with a past I regret

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness

For once I'm at peace with myself

I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long

I'm movin' on

.

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces

Each one is different but they're always the same

They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it

They'll never allow me to change

But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong

I'm movin' on

.

I'm movin' on

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me

And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone

There comes a time in everyone's life

When all you can see are the years passing by

And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

.

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't

Stopped to fill up on my way out of town

I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't

I had to lose everything to find out

Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road

.

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on

Dude, Where's My Car ?!

Picture this. Monday night, 6:30pm, dusk. I decide I'm going to brave the night vision problems to take w & s to the dogpark. I walk outside to get in the car. IT IS GONE. I'm dead serious, the car was NOT where I parked it. W & S are very excited at this point, S is pulling on his leash and barking as if to say "c'mon mom, c'mon w lets go! we haven't been to the dogpark in four days!" I look around, dumbfounded.

About five minutes later and two rows back, I see it. It is BACKED into a parking space (I never do this, I suck at it). I was looking around for Candid Camera or something. I walk over, unlocked with the keyfob, still puzzled. I put w and s into the backseat and start the engine. The mileage seems right (I remembered I was about ready to hit 50K) and everything is still IN the car. WTF happened? The only other key is in a drawer in my house.

Okay, so drama aside, apparently there was construction scheduled and notes were placed on cars telling people to move them. I, of course didn't see the note (or it blew off) since I didn't leave the house from the time of surgery on Sat until Monday night. I was going to call the apt complex office today but forgot. I'm assuming they towed my car because I didn't move it. Sheesh, they have my vehicle info, I was home ALL day...why not call me and ask me to move it?!

That little incident seriously f'd with my brain.

2 Day Post Op Checkup

My first vision test since surgery revealed good results. Although things still seem foggy/cloudy, my vision in the right eye is 20/30 and the left 20/25. Not bad. Together I see 20/20. Today was my first driving experience since surgery and it went well. The night vision is still rather f'd up, but hopefully things will get better. Next vision check is in two weeks.

My Addiction

I'm addicted to Partypoker.net. I learned of this website after I got my ass kicked at a Texas Hold 'Em game at Jason's house in Gilbert. Since then (two wks ago), I've been playing nearly every day for about an hour. I started with $1000 of play money, my balance tonight is 34K. Woohoo. Next time I will not be the first to run out of money.

The setup is really fun - you pick what type of poker you'd like to play and how much you feel like spending. There are rooms with a nickel start up to a fifty dollar start. Depending on the game, there are either 5 or 9 other players, all live. You can even chat during the game. Super fun.

My ID on there is arizonaamy. Stop by sometime!

36 Hours Post Op - Update

Okay, so I woke up during the night and I had apparently wrestled the dweeby goggles off. I'm hoping I didn't rub my eyes in my sleep!

I can see about 70% or so. Although I could probably see well enough to drive, I decided to play it safe and stay home today. A friend came over for dinner, and that was the most exciting thing that occurred all day. (thanks Laura!)

The funky feeling of something foreign in my eyes is better today. I'm still using lots of lubricating drops - dry eyes are no fun at all. I can keep my eyes open for much longer without discomfort. I have a follow up appointment tomorrow where I'll get my eyes tested for the first time. I'm looking forward to that (and also the hot young doctor that will probably be the one doing it).

Adios, Amigos.

I've seen the light - LASIK

First, let me warn everyone that I'm typing with my eyes closed. I can't read the screen very well. :)

So today I had Lasik on both eyes. Woohoo. Hopefully this means the end of glasses forever. I was a bit nervous, but things moved so quickly I didn't have a chance to blink (literally!).

I checked in and was given a lovely surgical cap. My dad also got the pleasure of the ultra hip cap, as he was allowed to experience the whole Lasik thing with me! I hadn't planned on that, but loved having him there.

Okay, so I had to wash the makeup off and remove my glasses next. A nurse took my blood pressure and I signed a bunch of releases. Dad was helpfully listening to the post-op instructions, since I was to nervous to remember anything. Once I was all ready, we walked to the surgical suite and there was a nifty table for me to lay on and a chair (actually in the room!) for my dad to sit in.

I won't go into great detail, but basically nothing really "hurt." It was just freaking uncomfortable. How do you think a suction cup on your eyeball feels?? Not great. Kind of like the pelvic exam at the gyno I guess. Like, "I really hate this, would you please finish up?" Once the zapping was done, the doc checked my eyes to make sure he did what he was supposed to, and promised me a cookie and diet coke in the recovery area.

There were no cookies left in the recovery area. DAMN! I spend this much money and you folks are out of freakin' cookies? I saw the oven, they were the good Otis Spunkmeyer ones, too. I drank my diet coke and was on my way. I was in and out of there in 50 minutes. Turns out I was the last patient of the day (hence, no cookies left. I'm still bitter about that).

The first 5 hours were really uncomfortable. It felt like I had a bunch of eyelashes in each eye. It was not fun to open them. With each hour that has gone by, I've seen improvement. I have three types of eyedrops, one of which burns like a freakin' MO FO. Grrrrrrr.

Okay, funny thing. I just used spellcheck and it suggested "foreskin" for "freakin" in the last two paragraphs. Ha.

For the next five nights I have to wear plastic goggles. This should be interesting. Also included in my "post surgical bag 'o fun" are a pair of dark black granny glasses. Nice. That'll help pick up the men.

I'm signing off for the evening. Update tomorrow.

Surgery Day is Almost Here!

I'm having Lasik on Saturday morning. Everything is confirmed and I'm ready to go. My dad is visiting Fri-Sat so he'll be able to take me and drive me home after. According to the surgeon, I'm very nearsighted, thus, a good candidate. My vision is currently 20/400 and after surgery should be 20/20. Unless something goes wrong. Thats the part that freaks me out! There's a chance that I'll see stars while driving at night for a few weeks - it usually goes away, but may last forever. Eeek. I'm trying really hard not to play the "what if" game though. Here's a link to the exact procedure I'm having:
http://www.lunaeye.com/lasik/intralase/intralase.html

Thought for the day

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."

~Louisa May Alcott

Today's Sunset

Snapped this awesome picture at the dogpark tonight!!

Two Can Play THIS Game !

My friend Warm Fuzzy (fellow blogger) posted a list of reasons for friends to remain living in St. Louis, rather than move away. I think she's bitter since two of her friends moved to Phoenix this summer. Ah ha, Fuzzy dear, here's my list:

The List of Reasons to Live in Phoenix

1. Kickass lightning displays!! Complete with purple skies! Big tall mountains.
2. My mother is faaaar away! Try 2343 miles! Dad is closer :)
3. The Mexican food here kicks all ass! No one thinks twice about eating a taco for breakfast.
4. I can drive to Disneyland in about five hours!
5. The Phoenix Zoo is voted one of the nation's Top Five Zoos for Kids!
6. The theatre down the street is a bargain. A ticket, large drink and small popcorn are $3 on Tuesdays or $4 any other day.
7. Citrus fruits are cheap cheap cheap! Peaches and nectarines were on sale 2 lbs for a buck!
8. DOGPARKS!! LOTS OF DOGPARKS!!
9. No snow or ice! Woohoo! Save money on your wardrobe.
10. Lots of pools - many are open year round! I love swimming. Its the part about people seeing me IN the swimsuit that bothers me :)

The List of Phoenix Things I Could Do Without:

1. Smog and dust storms.
2. Traffic (rush hour starts at 2pm and ends at 7pm)
3. Coyotes (my poor dogs), rattlesnakes, scorpions, black widow spiders
4. Illegals. Why hire me when Rosita will watch your children for half the price?
5. Cost of living
6. Forest Fires (I hate watching people's houses burn down on live TV)
7. More pools = more pool injuries and deaths :(
8. Sun so hot it feels like it is burning holes in my skin! Arizona has one of the highest skin cancer rates in the US
9. No sewers! Where does the rain go during monsoon season? It floods! Every rainstorm there's always at least one moron that tries to drive through the floodwaters and has to be rescued, putting the lives of the rescuers in jeopardy to save their dumb ass.
10. Lack of appropriately paying jobs (see above, #4)

The Confessional

\con*fess"\, v. i. 1. to make confession; to disclose sins or faults, or the state of the conscience.

Feeling guilty? Need to let it out?

Allow me to introduce: The Confessional. From time to time I'll be opening the doors, ready to accept those past boo boos to help you move on. You can remain anonymous if you'd like.

My confession:

In the summer after fifth grade, I attended church camp for a week. I slept on the bottom bunk, while some girl I didn't know slept on the top. This chick brought the largest comforter for her twin bed. During the night, this stupid thing would hang down and brush up against me, scaring the living daylights outta me. One night I got a little hot tempered (who, me?) and yanked the comforter really hard to wake her up so she'd pull it back up. Long story short, I pulled too hard and yanked her off the top bunk and she fell on the concrete floor next to me. Everyone woke up and I felt really bad. When I was questioned, I didn't admit that I made her fall off. Luckily she wasn't hurt. Whew. I feel better.

Woof You!

I spent this evening like many others, at the local dog park. This is a favorite destination of mine, not just for my sake, but for my two dogs, W and S. The subject of this blog isn't W or S, but a problem canine, "E."

E's owner is a twenty-something petite, nice girl. E, however makes the hairs on my arms stand up. About two months ago I met E. He was nasty. E's owner had him neutered, hoping the problem would lessen or go away. I should have questioned the intelligence level of E's owner when she brought him the day after surgery, complete with the e-collar on his head. How humiliating. Poor E had to face the fellow boys at the dogpark after his balls were chopped off. WOOF THAT!

E's behavior hasn't improved. When E and his owner aren't around, the other dog owners talk about her and how nasty E is to their dogs. She has been shunned by the dog park regulars, who immediately summon their dogs when they catch sight of E. She has been bringing him regularly to the dogpark, despite his issues, with a muzzle on. He still lunges and acts psycho towards the dogs. WOOF THAT!

This weekend I found myself sitting next to E's owner. Curious, I asked if she was doing any training with him. She stated "no time." Um, pardon me, but isn't this a waste of time to be at the dogpark when your dog has to stay on a leash, muzzled the entire time? I really don't believe that E's behavior is his fault, but the fault of his owner. There's nothing fun or positive for the poor guy. I offered to help her find a behaviorist, she muttered something like "I can google it." Okay, I can see when my help isn't needed.

Lady, WOOF YOU. Get some help before E hurts someone. If E ever hurts either of my dogs, you'll be WOOFIN all the way to the hospital after I kick your WOOFIN WOOF.

And since I'm already going off on you, please bring E some WOOFIN water in a bowl. This is Arizona, and dogs get WOOFIN thirsty - especially when drooling over which dog to attack next. I find it funny you always remember your WOOFIN Snapple, but nothing for E. Use your WOOFIN brain!