Reflections on Teaching (First Two Weeks!)

I'm too tired to type in nice paragraphs, so tonight the harried new teacher is electing for bullets. Painful lessons I've learnt (just kidding, LEARNED) so far:

• accept help ALWAYS!
• before you buy a plant for your desk, make sure your classroom actually has a window!
• always plan MUCH more than you EVER think the kids will complete
• when checking a kid's answers, make sure you aren't holding the answer key where he can see it
• don't leave your candy jar on your desk or in eyesight
• don't offer a flavor choice for candy. pick it yourself.
• don't use smelly markers! they'll give you a headache and the kids will huff them!
• when the kids ask an excessive number of personal questions, ask them questions back (are you married, teacher? are YOU married, Johnny?) they'll stop. i promise.
• don't stay after school. the highway traffic gets worse and every teacher will come by your room to talk to you about "their problem kid" and gossip about the other teachers
• learn the layout of the school. this is especially important if your classroom shares a wall with, I don't know....the PRINCIPAL. :)
• make friends with custodial crew
• make friends with the lunch ladies (they'll slip you a few extra tater tots)
• make friends with the main office staff (especially the lady that orders supplies and holds the only key to the "golden supply room"
• if you go out for lunch (this will rarely happen), wear your school ID badge (many nearby places give discounts)

Lastly, accept the fact that you won't be even CLOSE to a perfect teacher during the first year.

I crave St. Louis

This evening I was preparing tomorrow's lesson for my 5/6th graders. Since tomorrow is my first day as a teacher by myself (cringe!), I thought I'd make the lesson to help them get comfortable with me as their new teacher. I did some internet searching to refresh myself of some St. Louis facts. While researching the Gateway Arch, I stumbled upon a website for a company that delivers favorite St. Louis cravings to displaced folks. So, if you're one of my St. Louis pals, here are a few products that are considered St. Louis' favorite foods:

• Provel cheese (GOD, YES YES YES!)
• Gooey butter cake
• Ted Drewes
• Toasted ravioli

I would add Lubeley's Bakery to the list. Before I moved, I checked and they DO mail stuff, so my birthday wish is a cake from Lubeley's. I don't care if it is a smooshed mess, it all tastes the same to me. Mmmmm....birthday cake.... Wait! Fuzzy, you're coming to visit in Feb - and Feb is your b-day month too...are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

St. Louis pals, would you add anything else? Check out the website to see what they'll ship...

http://foodcraver.com/index.html

Garbage Pail Kids

Remember these things? Created to poke fun at Cabbage Patch Kids, GPKs were designed to appeal to boys. They were all the rage when I was in elementary school. I can remember my mom putting a packet in my lunchbox every once and a while and being so embarrassed that I liked them, I opened them in the bathroom to see which cards I got. Some kids got cheesy notes from their mommies, I got GPK cards. On a family trip to Hawaii, my mom stashed packets of cards in my "sit down and shut up during the plane ride" bookbag. The gum was nasty, but the cards were pretty nifty. I still have a big stack of them to show my future children someday. I never did find the one card with my name on it. When the novel idea went sour, production ended. Then in 2003 - they came back and are still being produced, with a new series coming in 2007!

Fun Links:
Was a GPK card ever made with your name on it? Find out here: http://www.wgpkr.com/GPK/FindYourName/
Create your own GPK online and mail it to friends:
http://www.garbagepailkidsworld.com/create.html

Goodbye and Hello

Okay, so tonight I swallowed the last pill of Effexor XR. Now, for those who don't know what it is for, I'm not ashamed to say: its for depression. Why am I celebrating taking the last pill? Well - truthfully, it isn't the pill that I'm celebrating - its what the pill helped me overcome six years ago and where I am today.

I graduated from college and walked into "the real world." I had been accepted into a highly competitive program at a world-famous hospital in Baltimore. I would be working in a specialized field teaching hospitalized children about illness and helping them develop positive coping strategies to use during painful procedures. There were seven other interns in the program with me, I was assigned to do my first rotation in the Pediatric ICU. To make a long story short, I couldn't handle dying children every day (multiple times a day). I internalized my feelings. I was the strong person, talking to the parents, siblings - giving them hope and advocating for the child's needs. I tried my best to keep it together while working, but fell apart each night when I got home. I didn't know a soul and lived in a terrible slum near the hospital. Worse, I had no car and no way to escape (driving always calms me). I resigned from my internship within a few weeks and bid farewell to a career that I thought I wanted. During this time my grandmother passed away and I was so depressed that I couldn't handle going to the funeral. I still regret that. I never got to say goodbye.

I moved home to STL and sought treatment for major depression. I became a guinea pig for different medications - some made me gain weight, some made me puke, some made me feel like a zombie all day long. After several months, I finally found a good doctor who listened to my frustrations and prescribed Effexor XR. I began to feel better. Far from feeling normal, but slowly began to get back into life. I faced my Baltimore failure in the face through some counseling and accepted that life was going in a different direction. I found a support group for depression. For one hour a week, I was with people that understood the world of black I was living in. It was in that group that I met one of my best friends. (thanks girl!)

Within a year, I was much, much better. The five years that have followed have been a struggle, but better and better each year. I've remained on Effexor since, gradually weaning down in the dosage. This is a powerful drug - it has taken a long time to this point. There are scores of complaints and even chat boards full of people who cannot get off of it. I've even been in the ER once when I missed a dose and got terrible withdrawl. My body has been "addicted" to this drug. Taking the final pill is a big deal to me.

Thanks to the friends who stayed by my side during the rough times. And to the friends that chose not to, I understand. Depression is something that I hope no one close to me ever has to go through.

So back to the blog title: Goodbye, and Hello.
Goodbye Effexor, Hello Life.